The EX Files

I have an acquaintance who is a bad ex-wife.  I have witnessed her doing all kinds of things, just for the purpose of making her former husband and new wife miserable.  She claims to be a Christian, but she feels justified doing whatever she thinks up to be a pain to them.  I remember seeing some of the things she did and thinking that this woman gives ex-wives a bad name.  She is the stereotypical ex-wife of horror stories.   

Proverbs 6:16-19 says, “These six things the Lord hates, yes, seven things that are an abomination to Him:

·        A proud look

·        A lying tongue

·        Hands that shed innocent blood

·        A heart that devises wicked plans

·        Feet that are swift in running to evil

·        A false witness who speaks lies

·        And one who sows discord among brethren.” 

With the exception of shedding innocent blood, I had seen this particular acquaintance of mine do all of those things.  You know it’s bad when you’re doing most of the things on God’s itemized list of stuff He hates!

Ex-husbands & ex-wives are the subject of many jokes and unpleasant tales of woe.  It’s a subject that is likely to cause any number of reactions, depending on the individual’s personal experience with an ex.  The funny thing about it is that if you have an ex, then YOU ARE an ex.  Both, Pastor Arland and I were formerly married.  So we are, both, ex’es to somebody.  Since we live in a fallen world, sometimes things happen that are not the vision for our lives.  But that doesn’t give us the right to be less than decent to others.  I am going to use my relationship with my former husband as an example. 

I became a divorced woman in 1999.  I was not happy about how things had turned out, but I decided that I did not want to be like my bad ex-wife acquaintance.  In faith, I gave the issue to the Lord which allowed me to let go of my past and begin to step into my future.  At some point, the former husband and I made contact.  The 1^st thing he did was say that he was sorry for all the pain he caused me.  I wasn’t expecting that, but it made me consider that maybe some of my words or actions had caused him pain, as well.  So, I apologized to him.  After that, we spoke openly about what had happened between us, and completely cleared the air.  I have no animosity towards him, nor he towards me.  I believe our friendship, and, yes I do consider him a friend, is an example of Psalm 32:1-2:  “Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.  Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit.”    We were open with each other, we forgave each other, and we are forgiven by God. We are blessed.

Today my former husband is re-married to a beautiful woman, and I pray for them to have a long life of happiness together.  It was, even, my pleasure to send them a wedding gift.  That would not have been the case had I not made the decision to give the pain and disappointment of my divorce to the Lord.  It is so important to live deliberately as we walk the path of our lives.  The choice to focus on Jesus rather than problems and pain will yield dividends not only today, but in all of your tomorrows.  So, if you happen to be an ex, strive to be a good one!